How many times do you think to yourself, I’m just too busy? When people ask you, “How are you?” Do you respond with, “Oh, I am just so busy.”? Is there a secret sense of pride or importance in that answer?
It’s as if being over active will be our 21st century legacy. Will our relationships with ourselves and others suffer while we are being too busy to connect? At the end of the day did you work so hard that you don’t have energy or time for meaningful relationships or thoughtful conversations with the people in your life?
Take notice of the adrenaline that pumps you up to get you through your next obligation. Here’s the thing, a perverse acceptance of busyness is likely your excuse to never focus on what your heart truly desires. What are you running from by being too busy? What are you trying not to think about? Where is the integrity in being too busy, just so we can avoid doing the things that support our purpose for being here on earth?
At the end of your life do you want to rejoice in having tried to live fully or die having hidden behind being too busy to live? Try this: identify a heartfelt goal and set an alarm to remind yourself throughout the day to do something towards your purpose. No matter how busy you are – stop at each alarm and do a little something toward fulfilling your purpose. That is a sure way to get off the I’m just so busy train and into your purpose-filled life. May the desires of your heart be clear and actualized dear friends.
Fear is like a drug; happiest when it has you too afraid to shed light on your thoughts and beliefs. You see fear knows when you shine light on it the fear will disappear like the Wicked Witch in the Wizard of Oz or The Wiz when water hits her. Fear is a creative liar. It attaches to your deepest insecurities and feeds you a Hollywood size story why you can’t or should not try. Love for yourself is the brilliant light that dries up fear and makes room for courage to try.
How can you light up and melt your fear today?
Love is strength. Love of self, love for another and even love of country indicates you possess an ability to be understanding, to employ forgiveness and apply some good old fashion wisdom of Solomon.
My wish for you is that as you hold love for yourself today you observe how it soothes your inner angst so you can see clearly what is important. Then as you continue to grow in love may you find yourself forgiving and sharing your love with others because my friends, life without love is not an option. As countries around the globe struggle with desperate feelings from divisive rhetoric we discover love is the wisest advantage if you want to nurture a peace in your heart and your country that surpasses all logical understanding.
What I know for certain is love expands. Love builds up; love does not tear down. Love is the gift of life. Let love’s strength grow you in ways that astonish your heart and enlighten your days. To quote the Beatles, “All We Need is Love”.
“She makes me so mad.” Have you ever uttered similar words about someone you know?
As the creative storyteller of your life, you choose what story you will tell yourself and others. Let’s go back to the first sentence, ‘she makes me so mad’; we give details about what she said and likely call her a few not so nice names that keep us stuck in frustration and hurt. We make up a couple sentences, like, “she never liked me or anyone else for that matter”, and now we begin to believe what we are saying. Even though we have not asked for clarification or confirmed it is true. That my dear reader is story creation.
May I suggest you stop telling the story the same old way? If you are invested in being the victim in your story fabrications, you won’t be willing to change your story to anything different. If you want to be free of other people’s stuff affecting you, choose to tell a different story.
Take responsibility for your feelings and thoughts. Ask yourself why do I react to other people’s stuff in this way? Most people say I don’t know. Look deep, it’s just buried in the darkest part of your internal closet. (Check out, last week’s blog below entitled Keys to Open Our Hidden Door(s)).
I saw a quote that suggests maturity is when a person hurts you and you try to understand their situation rather than hurting them back. May I suggest you return to the story you tell yourself and try to understand where you are and where the other person has come from. Create your story with love and dignity for all concerned.
What is the story I am telling myself?
What is true and what is made up?
What can I change within myself to judge less and love more?
Fair warning, dear reader, a sense of adventure is required to open doors you closed a long time ago to avoid getting hurt again:
•Trust yourself to handle whatever comes your way
•Forgiveness for yourself and others
•Love for yourself and others
These are keys to re-opening closed doors within your heart and mind that have been sealed shut for so long you forgot the doors were there originally to help you grow and prosper. Now that the keys are opening your doors, sit in the mental space, poke around to identify the various aspects of what you are thinking, believing and fighting against. Begin to heal your old emotional wounds by appreciating what repression tried to do for you. Release your hurts by choosing a new way of thinking so you can choose to live life out loud in your authentic way.
Have you ever looked around and wondered how did my life end up here? How long have I been wandering around in this dimly lit existence? When did I fall down the rabbit hole which landed me beside big ominous trees that obstruct my vision and my path? This, my friend, is a wilderness walk.We don’t even realize we are in the wilderness until our life and thoughts are so jumbled we can’t seem to see our way out. It is hard to believe that it is the quality of our beliefs that created our current situation.
Don’t be afraid of the wilderness. Sit in it and embrace what it has to teach you. Be brave enough to feel and then heal. Consider the wilderness as your metaphoric teacher. It is showing you it’s time to make a change from your old way of believing. Trust instead that you are empowered to create the life you desire outside of the wilderness.
If you don’t like what you are experiencing what inner belief can you change to create what you do want?
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Change, if you crave your desires and have not yet experienced the promise of it’s delight. Here’s the thing, you change yourself, do not expect the people around you to change first. Believing ‘if only he would be different’, is not going to ever bring you the desires of your heart. No more than thinking, ‘if only she would say these things to me’, it will bring you your true desires.
Change you. Look inside and examine what you believe to be true and then ask yourself is there room within you to see this idea/belief differently? For example, if you grew up in a household that didn’t support your dreams you may go out into the world believing people are not supportive. As an adult if you unconsciously choose to be around people who are not supportive it’s likely because you believe that people are unsupportive. You can hold onto your veiled belief that other people get support but not me or you can find room in your mind and heart to see that if some people are surrounded by supportive people, you too could be one of those people who get supported. And if that is true for you then your old belief can start to crack.
If you have been comfortable with where you are but uncomfortable being there it is time to change. This is your opportunity to allow a shift in thinking to occur. Start with yourself and set the intention to support yourself as you grow. Explore your own ideas and dreams. That’s how you lead change in your life. As you begin to promote yourself, watch and listen for others who want to support your vision.
Is there room in me to see this idea or belief differently?
Can I change the way I behave?
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Internal messages that do not serve us well in our pursuit to fully living our lives must be sent to the Trash bin; deleted and flagged as spasm email. Stop the habit of going back to take those less than desirable thoughts from the Trash. An all important step, not to be forgotten, is to permanently empty the Trash, that is to say, let go of negative self-beliefs.
You want to release all the negative self-put-downs. Give an example, you ask, here are a few: it’s when you tell yourself you are stupid, unreliable, unable to attract friends, a miserable person, not good enough, etc. Those are a few samples of internal trash thoughts that negate your well-being.
Those trash thoughts need to be replaced with a kindness that you begin to show yourself. When we were younger we sought out our parents and teachers for their approval. As adults looking for, or worse yet, needing that praise/approval/ thoughtfulness from others will never fully satisfy our longing.
The point I hope you won’t miss is to give loving thoughts to yourself early and often. And watch as you begin to attract others who support your positive ideas and begin to repel those people who bring you trash thoughts of their own. Trust me when I say, “we” all deserve loving treatment from ourselves and the people we allow into our lives.
What is the kindest thought you thought about yourself today?
Would you call a small child or loved one some of the harsh things you call yourself?
We all do or say something we are not proud of in this life of ours. There are times when embarrassing things happen to us at the hand of others. Some of us, not you of course, have had multiple infractions against ourselves and others. These unfortunate incidents that cause embarrassment and shame, are merely aspects of living and learning.
Embarrassment and shame are not intended to be the last emotions you hold onto after a disappointment. Figure out what you can learn from the experience, for example, what were the underlying reasons it happened, who can help with your new insight, or how does forgiveness allow you to move forward?
You are meant to feel and grow, not to get stuck. Take your new self knowledge, some empathy and a lot of compassion with you as you interact with others. Once you accept that you are no longer a person who wallows in the past or in painful memories, you can declare, “I am now a beacon for myself and others.”
Let’s get up and create our life rather than letting life happen. We do have the power to reimagine and then create the life we desire. The power is in our thoughts, beliefs, emotions and actions. Are your thoughts and beliefs focused on what you don’t want or on visualizing what you truly desire? Are your emotions down or heavy because of what you don’t have? And does that leave you with very little energy to take positive action toward your goals?
You have the power to turn your situation around. It’s called choice. You choose what you want to concentrate on; that can be what you want or what you don’t have. What you concentrate on is what you see in your life – day in and day out. If you want abundance but only see lack, check the thoughts you tell yourself and the beliefs you have about abundance. To achieve your desires the majority of your thoughts would focus on what are the steps to get there, who can I talk to, how can I open my mind and heart to receive more of what I desire. Day dream with a smile on your face, express gratitude for each small or large confirmation that you can now see because your focus is clear.