Gratitude and gladness go hand and hand, however many people stop at the gratitude level and forget to feel the gladness that comes with acknowledging something good is in their life. Here are two theories why: if the object of my gratitude goes away I will feel sad or if I share my joyful gratitude someone will judge me as bragging, selfish, or even egotistical. First of all not feeling excitement about something possibly happening or that has taken place does not ward of sadness nor that empty feeling if things don’t work out as we hoped. Two different emotions for two different outcomes. Feel the feeling in the moment that you are in. Emotions can’t be bargained away, I won’t feel this to avoid feeling the other. I won’t let love in so I won’t ever be hurt. Yet you hurt because you yearn to be loved. Remember when we were children playing in the park on a see-saw? You go up and down with another person each of you taking turns pushing off. If you were there by yourself you stayed on the ground.
I don’t remember who said this but the fact that I remembered this quote is my respect for the one who penned it first, “How someone treats you is their karma and how you react is your karma”. Anyone judging you or your situation is displaying judgmental thoughts. Their thoughts in your life are merely their thoughts, neither right nor wrong.
Feeling gladness is a birthright. Use it to honor yourself and to light someone else’s path.
It’s here, we are days into 2017. We take great delight in wishing each other a happy new year! The overwhelming return response is “I think it’s going to be a good or even a great year.” And I want that outcome for each of us. What concerns me is we say it so hopefully, expecting something outside ourselves to make us happier, thinner, smarter, more wealthy or whatever you imagine for yourself. Yet at the end of most years, we say to each other, “Phew, I’m glad this year is over” and we start over with well wishes and big dreams…
This year I encourage us to reflect and open up to what we can do differently to help our circumstances become better than the year before? Where can your imagination take you to lift you out of the same old thing? How can you be of service to others?
We have within us the possibilities to move from struggle to grace and greatness in 2017!
Seeing with new eyes is all about seeing “the same” differently. We go to work the same way everyday. Take the same route to school and what do we notice? Anything different? That’s my challenge for you. Look around, see with a purpose to observe something new. If you have not really looked at the people in your life, those closest to you, notice something different about them.
Why is this important? It brings us into the present moment. It gives us something new to experience. Are you aware that the majority of our thoughts are repetitive? Experts say 80-90% of our thoughts are the same things we told ourselves yesterday and the day before that. Make room for new thoughts and observations. Make space for a new year with new experiences.
Wishing you all joy and abundant life (that is health, happy moments, strong loving relationships, faith, hope, wealth, goodness and strength) in 2017!
Look around you, identify something in your surroundings that you have not noticed in a while? To start it could be as small as looking closely at a picture in your home.
Are your repetitive thoughts serving you, your family, or your community well?
The idea of letting go of thoughts that do not serve you well came to me in meditation. Resentments and fear of new possibilities are mind bending games that do not serve a positive purpose in our lives. It is not a powerful position to take if you want to live and not waste your time here on earth. I have wasted enough time with statements like, “but she said blah, blah, blah three years ago and I can’t let it go.” You can fill in the blah, blah, blah for yourself, but I encourage you instead to declare freedom from other people’s harshness and unkindness. The best reward is to live well.
Whose words run through your thoughts and are those words positively getting you to your goal?
When experiences or people are overwhelming to your spirit it’s time to center yourself. Separate your ego (the part of you that wants things to be as they once were, which makes you feel a false sense of security) and embrace your ability to be still and listen to your true inner voice. How do you get there you ask? Remember this…
*Rest more and limit contact with toxic people.
*Frame what is happening in a different way. List other ways you can look at the situation.
*Be thoughtful about the emotions you take on. Yes, it is possible to choose peace instead of pain; joy instead of judgement; or appreciation instead of angst.
Can you name an emotion that is not serving you well and resolve to change it?
The painful moments in our lives come to teach us about ourselves. Let’s call that time riding a cloud. It’s choppy and upsetting. What I know for sure is we are not here to fear. We are here to grow. Grow to love more, to be more, to transform from pain to gain.
To receive the greatest impact in life we have to show up and share our selves with others. That my friends is like riding a cloud knowing we will see the luminous sun real soon.
What cloud are you riding on?
What would your sunshine moment feel like?
One morning as I was setting my intention I declared, “I’m tired of wishing for what I don’t have.” My spirit knew that couldn’t be the intention for the day. I had to re-language that to be positive in order to make a meaningful impact throughout my day. I re-languaged and embraced the following intention: “I am grateful for what is in my life right now.” That re-language uplifted and empowered me. It eliminated focus on what I couldn’t see. Let’s stop the preoccupation and obsession that enslaves us away from our deepest desires. The negative compulsions in our minds rub energy from our travels toward our true destiny. What we focus on grows. Re-language toward what you do want, not what you don’t want.
What do you want? Was your answer a list of things you don’t want? If it was re-language that litany. When I ask you, “Are you aware of the things you say” and “Are the things you say supportive of your true desire”, what answers went through your mind? In this exercise the first thoughts matter especially if the thoughts are negative or not what you truly want.
What are your deepest positive desires?
Can you re-language your thoughts and words toward the positive desires of your heart?
A wise warrior knows how and when to hold their tongue. Our words can flame a fire that takes over our emotions and interactions. Thank goodness for the four in the morning stillness that can birth clarity. In the just before sunlight quite hour we can think clearly about the struggle that is inside us. We can have gratitude toward the people around us who shed light on our internal brokenness by saying or doing something we do not care to experience. The victim mentality blames the other person for gifting us with pain. The wise warrior thanks the external force for the harsh reality that ultimately allows us to heal that old familiar and powerful pain point. Life is not just happening to us as if we are the victim; a wise warrior understands and embraces the gift wrapped-present in each emotional incident, that life is supporting our healing.
Besides courage, what other skills do you need to cultivate to have a wise warrior’s mentality?
How would you show up as a wise warrior in your life?
At the beginning of the day choose intentions that will influence your experiences during your awake hours. When you put your attention on an outcome that you choose consciously you are supporting what you really want.
When I started setting a daily intention I said to myself, I will be productive, on purpose and positive. That first day it took until 1:30 in the afternoon to see the fruits of my intention. The second day was better, by 10:30 I felt on purpose – doing the things that supported my desire to inspire and educate people, which allowed me then to be positive with those around me and productive enough to complete tasks that seemed arduous just days before. Each day now when I wake up I declare an intention and begin affirming it as my feet touch my slippers.
Declare for yourself the intention that will fulfill your long term desires. Trust that your intentions affect you and others around you. Review the results of your intentions nightly. If the results of the day don’t match your desires, look closely to see if your actions are conflicting with your intentions. Review your thoughts throughout the day, do they support your intention? May your choices always align with your desires…so your daily intentions transform your life…
Can you name something you want different in your life?
What attitude(s) can you change to allow ‘that something new’ in your life?
Are you willing to explore new intentions for new results?
Many clients ask, “Where is the roadmap for living my dreams?” The unknown road feels like walking in a darkness that hides our heart’s desires. As we embrace the darkness it becomes a beacon for us (and don’t we all need that) to start our journey toward personal freedom by putting down the masks we have established to manage the people in our world. Those masks keep us separated from our desires. Adapt a sense of adventure for the road traveled infrequently by the masses. There is no known guarantee; but the rewards can create great moments in your life. As you travel your own road you begin to build creative muscles, intuition and resilience, which are all skills you can use throughout the rest of your desired-filled days.
Start with the pain-filled broken spaces and head north towards your healing. Let your pain lead you on your road to your recovery and authenticity. Here’s the thing, you are not your pain. You are what lives under the pain. Your authentic self is waiting patiently for you to heal your past pains so the real you can walk tall once again on a road you created.
Have you played it safe long enough?
Has playing it safe gotten you the life of your desires?
Are you ready to change one small aspect of your believing and therefore your life?
Where in your internal broken places would you like to change?